at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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