Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
