Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
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I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
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I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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