After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
you never un-have a 4some
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
