he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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