My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Randomize
