My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
True strength comes from lack of pants
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
