you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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