No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
