Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
