But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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