Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
