he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
