i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
