She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
