so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
