So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
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I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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