My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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