Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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