hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Sext me about skeletons
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
