They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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