if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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