there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
