so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I love you. Go after that dick
I want a musical about memes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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