last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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