i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
