Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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