Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
