so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
