Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
