the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize