Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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