hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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