im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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