Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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