i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize