Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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