Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize