Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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