I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
