It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
