If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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