..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
