In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize