Well douche your snatch and let's go!
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
17 year olds will be the death of me.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
