Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
