worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
