Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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