I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
