You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
