I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
