i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
