You're so nebulous sometimes
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
