I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
