Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
we're so committed to being not committed
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
