I want to stick my p in your. b.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
