his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
