hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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