we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
