let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
