The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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