Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He has the fingertips of a God
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
